"In my mind, I’m gone to Carolina. Can’t you see the sunshine? Can’t you just feel the moonshine?" — James Taylor
I totaled my car—well, not exactly. A buck, a kamikaze deer, did the job for me around 6:00 p.m. Thursday evening on Highway 64 just outside Siler City. The moment of impact told me everything: this wasn’t something I could just drive through. I still had 45 minutes to High Point and I wasn’t going to make it.
So I steered into the nearest safe spot—a Walmart Supercenter lot (we’ve got plenty of those in the South)— and took stock. What to do? What to do? There were choices to make. Actually, only one clear one. I needed help and there was only one household that could reasonably respond. ET had to phone home.
I called Charlie’s home-care aide—the saint of a woman I’d left less than an hour ago, who’d already had a long, trying day. I told her what happened and asked if she could bring Charlie’s car to come get me. My own car was packed with three months of my life: suitcases, paperwork, and everything in between.
About an hour later, she and Charlie pulled up. While I talked with my insurance agent, we unloaded my car piece by piece and packed it all into hers. Then we drove back to Charlie’s apartment—the one place I’d sworn I wouldn’t stay while I was here was under her roof. Groan.
Funny old world.
I was so close—so close to making it out of here clean. And then bam. Out of nowhere. Unavoidable change of plans. The only logical choice was to sleep on her couch and troubleshoot it in the morning.
Did I mention we got struck again by a second deer on the way back to her apartment? No? Because that happened too. Anyways…
In the middle of it all, I came face-to-face with a hard truth: I had to ask for and accept help from CHARLIE. Ouch, right? The younger version of me would never have done that. She’d have called a friend, maybe even slept in the car and figured it out in the morning. Anything to avoid letting her see me vulnerable and needing her help. ANYTHING, but not anymore.
Thanks to the work I’ve been doing over the past few years I knew that somewhere inside this wildly inconvenient mess, there was opportunity for growth and I found it.
Looking back over the past couple of days, I’ve discovered a few silver linings—and even gratitude—for the whole thing.
First: I’m physically okay. A little banged up, a little bruised, a little sore—no big deal.
Second: no other cars were involved. No police report, no injuries—just me and the buck. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Done, son.
And strangely, it created a moment for Charlie and me to be on the same side. For most of our history, it’s been us versus each other. Lately, me versus her problems. But this time, in working together to fix a mess in my life, Charlie got to show up for me and she did. We problem-solved as a team—something we’d never done before.
There’s a touch of satisfaction and poetry in that. The pattern between us finally broke with the help of a buck in rut.
Even though she didn’t want me to leave, she knew how much it mattered and helped anyway—providing a ride, a place to sleep, sharing clothes, and getting me to the rental office the next day. She and her aide made sure I could rent a car and head out of town on schedule.
I also got to look at her, say thank you and mean it—to acknowledge that even though this wasn’t what she wanted, it was what I needed. And she was going to make sure it got done.
That’s growth. That’s progress. That’s teamwork and I’m not overlooking it.
It didn’t happen the way I would’ve scripted it—but then again, closure rarely does. Sometimes it just shows up disguised as a deer on a dark road. Everything’s a gift if you know how to work with it.
So that’s it. I’m done here. I’m driving west—back to Northern California—and when I get there, I get to buy a new car.
This trip has been everything at once—meaningful, challenging, and at times, beautiful. Between the paperwork piles and planning, there’ve been reunions, sunsets, laughter, great food and lovely weather. And even though it’s been tough, clearing every skeleton from every closet feels good in its own strange way too. I’m glad I did it and I’m glad it’s done.
If You Ever Find Yourself in North Carolina…
None of us know how many days we’re going to have on this earth, but if any of those take you to North Carolina, here’s my list for how to live like a local. I was born in Raleigh. I call Wilmington/ Wrightsville Beach—home. Here is a list of the best of both.
If You’re Gonna Eat…
Char Grill – 618 Hillsborough St, Raleigh, NC 27603
This place has been around for over 60 years, and they do it the same way today as they did back then. You write your order on a slip of paper, slide it through the window, and wait for them to call your name. You can smell the smoke, the char, and the grease—it’s delicious. Best burger in the Triangle, maybe even the state. Don’t skip the chili and slaw; they’re a must-add.
Ole Time Barbecue – 6309 Hillsborough St, Raleigh, NC 27606
Best barbecue in the state—which means best in the world. This isn’t a debate, these are just facts. Get the barbecue pork plate. They make their own sauce—spicy or mild—and you can tell it’s fresh because you’ll see smoke rising from the pit across the street by the railroad tracks. They also make a killer banana pudding if you’ve got a sweet tooth.
Amedeo’s – 3905 Western Blvd, Raleigh, NC 27606
An absolute institution. Everything—and I mean everything—is made in-house. They bake the bread, roll the meatballs, and serve up the kind of Italian food that makes you rethink what comfort food means. It’s also an official NC State Wolfpack hangout. The walls are covered in sports history—football, basketball, archery, swimming, soccer—you name it. Catch it on the right day, and you might see the football team in there eating together. Order the meatballs. Trust me.
State Farmers Market Restaurant – 1240 Farmers Market Dr, Raleigh, NC 27603
Not to be missed. They serve the finest country cooking using the freshest local vegetables, and it’s just tits. Whether you come for breakfast or lunch, there’s a standing menu plus daily specials where the magic happens. I go for the baked chicken plate with butter beans and spiced apples—hits every single time. It’s like walking into a country grandma’s kitchen where every bite has love baked into it. Ten out of ten, would recommend.
Bojangles – any location (except the one in Warsaw).
The order is #1: Cajun filet biscuit combo with sweet tea. Taste it. That’s heaven. That’s what Carolina dreams are made of.
Dockside Restaurant – 1308 Airlie Rd, Wilmington, NC 28403
Right on the Intracoastal Waterway—there isn’t a bad seat in the house. If you drink, their Bloody Marys can’t be beat. The crab dip and crab cake are my go-tos. On summer weekends, there’s usually live music on the double-decker deck. Sit down, watch the waves and boats roll by, and just breathe. It’s a little piece of paradise.
What To Do
North Carolina State Farmers Market – 1201 Agriculture St, Raleigh, NC 27603
Doesn’t matter the season—the best of the best from all around the state will be there. Hundreds of stalls: produce, fresh-baked goods, juices, flowers, meats, honey, crafts, you name it. It’s one of my favorite places to walk around even when I don’t need anything. Most of it’s covered, so it’s still lovely even when it rains. There’s a seafood market, indoor and outdoor areas—it’s right in the heart of Raleigh and it’s the real deal.
North Carolina Museum of Art & Park – 2110 Blue Ridge Rd, Raleigh, NC 27607
I love this place. Miles of trails with large-scale outdoor installations, a lake, reflecting pools, an amphitheater, and rotating exhibits inside. In the summer they host outdoor movies—bring a blanket and picnic. It’s beautiful, accessible, family- and dog-friendly, and inspiring for everyone.
Wrightsville Beach – Wilmington, NC
If you come here, you have to go to the beach. There’s no place like it. If you want to feel like God is looking right at you, smiling, wanting you to be happy—catch a sunrise on Wrightsville Beach. It’s magic. Swim in the sea, walk the island, run the loop, grab a bike and tool around. It’s paradise, pure and simple.
Greenfield Lake Amphitheater – 1941 Amphitheatre Dr, Wilmington, NC 28401
An outdoor venue tucked under the live oaks. Small enough to feel intimate, big enough to host legends. Tickets are reasonable, parking’s easy, and the energy is perfect. I saw Gov’t Mule there—it was one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. Great sound, great people, great vibes.
Listen to the Music
I’m an audiophile. There’s never a bad time for the right song, and North Carolina radio gets it done. My Spotify app is usually working overtime but here it takes a break because the local stations are just that good.
88.1 WKNC (Raleigh) – NC State’s student-run station. Every hour brings a new genre. It’s eclectic, unpredictable, and full of raw energy. You never know what you’ll hear next, and that’s what makes it great.
95.7 That Station (Raleigh) – Discovered this one on my last trip and couldn’t turn it off. Perfect mix of indie classics, deep cuts, and new releases. Keeps me hooked every time.
98.3 The Penguin (Wilmington/Wrightsville Beach) – This one’s sacred. The Penguin is the heartbeat of coastal Carolina—spinning up-and-coming artists, indie favorites, and beach-town anthems. They support local businesses, sponsor concerts, and keep the good times rolling. I found out about that Gov’t Mule show through them, and once I tune in, I don’t change the dial. It’s the soundtrack of North Carolina, as far as I’m concerned.
There you have it the best of the best from the land of the long leaf pine. If you ever find yourself in the Old North State, you can live like a local.
I’m hitting the road tomorrow. It’s time.
-Sunny
